Blah..Blah..Blah......to put it quite simple, all this page contains is the story found in the instruction booklets of the games. Sorry if the text is hard to read, but then again, you probably wont read it anyway.

At last, the dirty lightgreen and blue smog was beginning to clear. Gruntilda the witch stood at the topmost window of her Lair, grinning wickedly down on her newly discovered world like a thundercloud before a storm.

"Tiny creatures far below," she cackled, "which of you'll be first to go?"

The witch rubbed her hands in glee at the prospect of becoming even more lovely than she already was. Landing somewhere new was always exciting - and judging by all the puffing and clanking coming from the next room, it seemed as if her greatest invention felt the same way. And what an invention it was! A machine that could suck out the physical beauty from its victims, ready for Gruntilda to absorb like a sponge! The witch rubbed the graceful curve of her chin with pride. Nobody else would even have dreamed of creating such a marvellous thing, she thought. Least of all her pretty sister, Brentilda. How dare that interfering do-gooder inherit the family good looks and not her? How dare she be born with a face so angelic when Gruntilda had always been... well... slightly disadvantaged in that department?

Thanks to her mechanical pride and joy in the next room, though, Gruntilda knew that all that would soon change. Hah! At last she could become beautiful beyond her wildest dreams! Picking her nose in a particularly smug manner, the witch turned her attention away from the window to the bubbling cauldron nearby, and began to cast the truth spell - a spell which, she thought, would confirm her place as the most wonderfully attractive creature on this latest world of hers...

Meanwhile, Tooty was enjoying the warmth of the sun and the happy birdsong all around as she skipped home through the deep lightgreen fields of Spiral Mountain. The young bear had spent a carefree couple of hours out piping amongst the woodland animals, and now she was heading back to have another try at waking that big lazy brother of hers. Just as the cosy little house that she shared with Banjo and Kazooie came into view up ahead, Tooty slowed down to watch a nearby molehill tremble, splutter and sprout a pair of blurry eyes that could only belong to her good friend Bottles. "Hi there, Bottles!" beamed the young bear. "Morning, Tooty," blinked the mole as his round little body came up out of the hole with a pop. "And what are your plans for this lovely day?" Tooty jumped up and down excitedly as his words reminded her of Banjo's promise. "Oh! I'm going to get my lazy brother out of bed, and we're going on an adventure!" she squealed.

Bottles smiled absent-mindedly at her. "That'll be nice," he said, then squinted up into the sky over her shoulder. "Hey, isn't that your brother up there?" Tooty turned to look, and saw an odd shape swooping down towards them at high speed. "No, I don't think that's Banjo," she said, frowning. "I wonder who it could be..." Sweeter than me? Prettier than me? Impossible!

Gruntilda was so furious at the cauldron's words that she wasn't really concentrating on flying her broomstick, and had to pull up sharply as her boots clipped the top of a fence. This only made her even angrier than before, and she found herself screeching abuse at thin air. "As cute as me, you stupid pot? For her own sake, I hope she's not!" The witch zoomed recklessly on through the skies until her intended target came into view: the unnecessarily cute young bear shown to her by that treacherous cauldron, staring up now from the field far below. Gruntilda snorted. "I need those looks far more than she, and finally perfect I shall be!"

With a loud scream and a cackle, the witch took aim and sent the broomstick into a dive. Kazooie popped out of the backpack in alarm as noise erupted just outside the window. "Banjo! Banjo!" she squawked, recognising two of the three yelling voices as those of Tooty and Bottles the mole. "Banjo, wake up!" The Honey Bear groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. "Aww, leave me alone, Kazooie, it's too early," came his muffled voice.

"This is no time to be lazy, Banjo!" trilled the Breegull, her anxious fidgeting causing the backpack to swing to and fro on the hatstand it hung from. "We've got trouble! Pull yourself together!" Banjo groaned again, rolled over, and was about to say something else when Kazooie's struggles proved too much for the supporting stand, toppling it onto the floor with a crash and an undignified squawk. The Honey Bear jumped out of bed in surprise, just as the curtains flapped open with the backlash from something launching itself at high speed from his front lawn. And beneath the manic cackling that reached him on the wind, he heard the helpless cries of a voice he recognised... Tooty's! Banjo gulped and searched the room for his feathered friend, realising that this was definitely going to be one of those days. "Uh, Kazooie, what are you doing down there?" he said in confusion, snatching up the backpack as he bolted for the door. "This is no time to be lazy - we've got trouble!"

As the midnight storm raged outside, Banjo the bear nodded ruefully as he observed the varying fortunes of the players huddled around their card table. His breegull partner, Kazooie, was losing badly, Bottles the mole was about even, but it had been a good night for Mumbo Jumbo, who was shaking with excitement as he dealt the next hand. "S-Stop rocking the t-table, you're s-spilling our d-drinks!" Kazooie squawked accusingly at the shaman.

"N-Not Mumbo, w-whole h-house s-shaking." Mumbo replied unsteadily. He was right. Banjo's house was shaking, but it quickly subsided as suddenly as it began. "I wonder what that was? Perhaps someone should go and take a look," blinked a nervous Bottles. The mole glanced around the table, hoping someone other than him would have to venture out into the cold, wet night and confront whatever might be out there. Things like this never happened when he was underground. "Mumbo much brave, me go look outside," declared the shaman confidently, striding towards the door and out into the howling storm. "C'mon Banjo, gimme a hand," Kazooie cackled as she began helping herself to Mumbo's winnings. "Kazooie!"

The rain pattered down on Mumbo's bony head as he trudged up the path that led away from Banjo's house. Everything looked normal, the shaman thought, apart from those two figures hurrying towards the spot where Banjo's arch-enemy, Gruntilda the witch, had fallen and subsequently been buried two years before.

"Witches!" Mumbo realised. "This not good, Mumbo go see what doing..." By the time the shaman had dashed over and concealed himself behind a suitable rock, the witches were standing in front of the boulder that covered Grunty's grave. Both of them were mumbling in a strange language, whilst the taller of the two held open a huge book. Mumbo watched, enthralled, as the huge boulder lifted into the air - and then vanished! "Witch magic good," the shaman murmured. "Gone the rock has, so out you can come!" crowed the shorter fat witch.

All three stared towards the now open grave as the smoke cleared and a figure emerged. Standing there was Gruntilda the witch, but not the Grunty they all remembered. Her two years spent underground had taken their toll on her warty body, reducing her to just a skeleton!

Grunty looked down at her new bony body in disgust. "Nice Grunty looks, lost weight you have," the thin witch grinned. "I hate bones, a body I need. Can you help me with this little deed?" Grunty glared at her sisters. "Yes, plan Mingella and Blobbelda has, so off to our castle we must go," the fat Blobbelda wheezed. Mumbo was horrified. Gruntilda restored to her former evil self? They couldn't let this happen. Banjo had to know immediately! "Arrgghh! Seen us, bony man has!" Mingella screeched, pointing a long bony finger in the fleeing shaman's direction. "Leave it to me, he's no hassle, I'll kick butt, then off to the castle!" cackled Grunty as she lumbered after him.

A frantic Mumbo crashed through the front door, not even noticing that Kazooie had taken his winnings.

"Grunty spell coming! Quick, must all run!" the shaman gasped breathlessly, pointing to the window as a strange bright light headed towards them. "He's right!" Banjo yelped. "Everybody out!" From her vantage point, Grunty watched gleefully as her spell slammed into the side of Banjo's house, instantly reducing it to a pile of smoking rubble. Cackling maniacally, she hurried across to where her sisters were waiting inside their giant digging machine that they had used to tunnel their way to Spiral Mountain.

She'd been promised that they'd perfected a device that was capable of sucking life force from the ground itself and any creatures that stood on it: once enough had been collected, they said it could be used to restore her former bloated body. Gruntilda couldn't wait to try out the device on some poor, unsuspecting, innocent little animals! Some time later, a very groggy Banjo sat up on the grass where he'd been thrown when the spell struck. Kazooie emerged from the safety of his backpack and watched in amusement as Mumbo rubbed his bruised skull gingerly. "Ooooh, Mumbo's head hurts." The shaman groaned. "Never mind that, look at our house!" squawked the Breegull, as she surveyed the smouldering wreckage. "Well, at least everyone got out safely..." sighed Banjo. Kazooie wasn't so sure. Someone seemed missing...

"Hang on, where's Goggle Boy?" she trilled. Everyone turned to look at the house, as a blackened shape stumbled out from what remained of the doorway. Bottles wobbled and staggered towards his friends, but collapsed to the floor before he could reach them and lay still. Banjo and Mumbo rushed across to help the stricken mole. "Uh-huh, mole looks much unwell," Mumbo observed. "It's worse than that... Grunty's killed poor Bottles!" the bear gasped. "Grunty wreck house and kill mole, she will pay! Bear and bird must get after witch!" Kazooie screeched excitedly. It seemed such a long time since their last adventure. "C'mon Banjo, let's go!"

Gruntilda the witch's plans for world domination and youthful good looks had gone to far. Banjo the good-hearted bears and his faithful feathered friend kazooie had boldly challenged Grunty's evil, leaving the wicked witch trapped beneath a boulder in an almost forgotten corner of spiral mountain.

In the months after Grunty's defeat, peace returned to the Isle of Hags, but all the while Gruntilda's thoughts were consumed by one thing-a plot for revenge! If it hadn't been for Banjo ad Kazooie's intervention, life could have been so different....

And now, with the help of her henchmen Klungo, Grunty isn't going to let a little thing like history get in her way. She has a plan that will not only seperate the heroic pair, but also wipe away the memory of her defeat at their hands forever.

You race through past BK worlds against other familiar characters. What more to say.

It's been a long time coming, but Banjo and Kazooie are back in action - and so, to their exasperation, is dedicated arch-foe Gruntilda. The stakes have been raised, and Grunty's out to redevelop Spiral Mountain into tower blocks and shopping malls. Banjo and Kazooie's future is on the line!

Tired of the feuding between bear, bird and witch, a new player has stepped in: the mysterious Lord of Games (LOG), said to have been involved in creating every videogame ever released. He whisks the rivals away to his creative HQ in Showdown Town, and into an elaborate series of challenges held within his hand-made worlds. The winner gets the ownership deeds to Spiral Mountain, the loser an eternity of toil in LOG's videogame factory. The game is on!

However, things are a bit different this time around. The core gameplay mechanic - and the method by which worlds are traversed, challenges tackled and progress made - is the creation and customisation of vehicles, using components found, bought and won throughout Showdown Town. From wheels and weapons to springs and wings, all of which can be combined in any number and style, there's a staggering level of experimentation and personalisation for those willing to dabble. If you can imagine it, you can probably build it. But any adventurer with less confidence, experience or time on their hands can still jump in and take on the game with a pre-built range of vehicles. The Lord of Games might be heavy-handed, but he's big on equal opportunities.

However, it's not all change in Banjo-Kazooie country, as Banjo will still compete for Jiggies to unlock new destinations and hoard the musical notes that serve as legal tender. Familiar figures on hand to help include everyone's favourite shaman down at Mumbo's Motors and newly appointed tourist information officer Bottles; new faces on the block include porcine police chief Pikelet and overly competitive braggart Trophy Thomas. Outside Showdown Town you might just meet them all again, persuaded by LOG to turn thespian and act out hilarious themed roles in different worlds. You'll also have to take on Grunty's shiny army of mechanical Gruntbots, riding roughshod over Banjo's efforts to save the day.

For the first time in the Banjo universe there's also the opportunity to go online with players across your own world. Combine this with the riveting new solo adventure, and it looks like 2008 really will be the Year of the Bear. You might want to book a seat. When the comedy rattles and clanks die down, the garage door rolls up and Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts finally purrs into view, you'll be glad you did.